Living Reflections from a Dream

If you are not living in the greater Boston area, you are probably not aware that until recently, we have been deprived of the opportunity to buy cheap Swedish designed home goods (the horror). Nearly 20 years without an NBA championship, now this. How did we survive? But late last fall, just in time for the Christmas season, Ikea finally arrived just south of Boston in Stoughton (that is Stow-ton to those who speak in alternative accents). The arrival of Ikea caused major traffic disruptions in the area, including people sitting in traffic for over an hour and on occasion leading to the closure of the highway exit to prevent anymore cars from entering the area. Things have improved somewhat since the grand opening, but proper planning for your trip to Ikea is still advisable. As an Ikea veteran, I will share my knowledge with you. You will want to avoid a trip such as my first time at Ikea, which clocked in at approximately 3 days.

When To Go

• If you can go during the week. Go then. I致e never tried this, but it almost has to be better than the weekends.




• Ikea opens on Saturday and Sundays at 10 am. Be there at 10 am.




• If you are like me and are always late, and you get there around 10:15 or so, do not take the left turn into the main parking garage, continue straight and go up to the second level of parking (which inexplicably is not accessible from within the lower level).




• If you get there any time before 10:30 or so, you should be able to get a spot on the second level. Possibly even in the å??amily friendly� parking area. I知 not sure what that means, except that itç—´ close to the door.




• Arriving any time after 11 is risky. By 11, the traffic police have arrived and they will direct you where to park. Once the people in the orange vests are on the scene, youæ± e looking at least 15 minutes of highly agitating driving around looking for a spot. You WILL end up following someone who is leaving the store around at a crawl in order to get their space. Inevitably, they will have parked at the farthest corner of the earth, but you will not want to stop following them because youæ± e afraid you won稚 ever find another person to follow around at 2 mph. You値l think to yourself: if I wasn稚 in this car about to kill someone from annoyance at having to drive around like this, I would be amused watching all these cars crawling along following people.




• If youæ± e going to arrive after 12, you may want to plan for another day, unless you enjoy high levels of frustration. Itç—´ entirely possible that neither the bottom nor second levels of the garage will be admitting any further cars (the ratio of cars patrolling the garage to people leaving and available to be followed at 2 mph will have reached the traffic jam level and the orange vests have taken control of the situation). You may have to park in the auxiliary parking lot. This is horrible. Itç—´ about a 5 � 10 minute walk away and will significantly limit the amount and size of cheap Swedish goods you will be able to carry back to your car. Of course, you could stand and wait with your pile of goodies, while sending someone else to get the car. Itç—´ a risky move as itç—´ entirely possible that person will sit in traffic trying to get back up to the store for over 20 minutes. Best to do as I suggest and get there by 10.

Shopping Strategies Once Youæ± e Inside

• Letç—´ say you致e done as I suggested and gotten there around 10:15 or 10:30. If you致e never been to Ikea before, just accept that youæ± e there for an extended period of time to walk through the display rooms. Itç—´ actually a fun time, and you only need to do it once. Make sure to take breaks.. sit on some of the fine furniture while youæ± e at it. On return trips you can skip this part until next season when some new items come out.


• Once you are down in the area where you can actually pick up the items you want, get a cart. You may be tempted to try make due with the large blinding yellow bag. Unless you are there for a specific item and you know exactly where it is (something that is nearly impossible as the space is designed to make you walk in circles for ages with no idea where you are, constantly finding new cheap Swedish designed goods you never knew you needed), forget the and go with cart.




• Shop as quickly as possible. Remember, the throngs are coming! Within half an hour, the place will be packed with what seems like every family in eastern Massachusetts. Children, for some reason, aren稚 very entertained by Ikea (they just aren稚 as excited by 100 tea light candles for $2.99 as I am) until they get to the childrenç—´ section, so they tend to scream with alarming frequency. The earlier youæ± e there, the smaller the crowd, the less mind splitting screaming you will have to endure and the less time you値l have to wait in the checkout line.




• Avoid the food (no matter how famished your shopping experience leaves you). Just because they seem to pump the aroma of freshly baked cinnamon rolls throughout the store, doesn稚 mean you have to succumb. This is store that sells Swedish meatballs in a plastic bag. Meatballs in a bag � totally suspect. Yeah, I知 talking to you man who was in line in front of me while we waited half an hour just to pay on my first trip to Ikea when I didn稚 have the benefit of the knowledge I am now imparting to you. His entire cart was 2 containers of the cinnamon buns, 3 bags of Swedish meatballs and a lamp. Clearly a mental patient. Who waits half an hour to buy that? If youæ± e waiting half an hour just to pay, you壇 better have a cart full to the point of overflowing... because youæ± e not done waiting.


• Again, I can稚 emphasize this enough, get there early, move quickly, avoid the lines because after all of that, you may have to wait just to get out of the building if itç—´ crowded enough, then you may have to wait with your things if you parked in the auxiliary parking lot (see above). Then once you to the parking lot, after being followed around by parking vultures who haven稚 followed my advice, you値l be able to start your car so you can sit in traffic to LEAVE.


At some point in my journey, I did begin to wonder why on earth people put themselves through this just for cheap goods. And I wonder if every Massachusetts house is going to begin looking exactly the same because, believe me, everyone in the state is in this store. But then I look over at the new lamp lighting my living room and it makes me happy.

Happy Shopping!