Let me give away the punchline: this week it took me almost 6 hours. 6 hours! For those who are unaware, you can drive from NYC to Boston in 3.5 - 4 hours.
Let's review the details... I left my office in the city in plenty of time to get to my flight. Sure there was horrific traffic... not sure why, but I'm sure Yankees fans are to blame somehow. I got to the airport a tad late for my flight, but it really was the lines that killed me. So I missed the 4pm shuttle I wanted to take and was place on the 5. Fine. Except when I get to the gate, the next shuttle is already listed as 45 minutes delayed. People mill about in an annoyed state. We are now an hour and half away from boarding our 35 min. flight.
Time passes slowly in the airport as more and more people swarm about. At the next gate, people scheduled on the 6om shuttle are already gathering. Our plane hasn't even arrived, yet. Do I need to tell you where this is going? Yes, under the well known "once a plane is late and we can't hide that fact, so we might as well make it as late as possible by letting all the other planes go first so we can keep our on time % up" rule, the 6pm shuttle took off before the 5pm and I've now been in the airport for over 2 hours, waiting for a 35 min. flight. Finallly, just after 6pm, we push away from the gate, back up and sit. And sit some more, and sit even more. Finally we move about 10 feet and the pilot comes on to announce there is an extensive amount of traffic ahead of us. He can't even see the head of the line of planes, so he can't hazard a guess as to how long it will be (but you know he knows), but will mostly likely be at least 40 min. 40 min. of waiting on the runway for a 35 min. flight for which I've already waited 2 hours.
We move inch by inch. I look out the windows and see planes as far as the eye can see. In all directions, on all runways, all moving in the same direction. It appears to be hundreds of planes. One would think they were like an army of attack planes sneaking up on an enemy. I begin to wonder if LaQuardia has one take off runway. We crawl endlessly forward, then stop. We have been sitting in the same place for at least 15 min. when the pilot announces: if you look to the left of the aircraft, you will see the Detroit Tigers packing up their equipment on their plane. All passengers head turn quickly to the left except mine because I'm thinking: the Tigers/Yankees game was in the 4th inning when I left the office. Johnny Damon had just hit his homerun putting the Yanks on top and I left in disgust. They played 5 innings, showered, did post game press conferences, and got to the airport in the time I've been waiting for my 35 min. flight. A few minutes later a bus with flashing lights came roaring onto the runway carrying what I can only assume were the actual Detroit Tigers to the plane. Needless to say, that plane went right to the front of the line for takeoff. I am not pleased. I am beginning to think they will make it to Detroit before I even take off.
Finally, over an hour after leaving the gate we are cleared for takeoff. The flight itself is fine, except for the bizarre decision to start the beverage service about 25 min. in to a 35 min. flight. They gave you your drink (which you needed by this point in time), and 30 seconds later came around to take it away as we were descending and all tray tables and seatbacks had to be returned to an upright position! They were literally taking drinks out of people's hands and throwing them away. Then we arrive in Boston (home, sweet, home!) and sit on the runway once again. Somehow we ended up on a cross runway inbetween 2 runways that were being used and we had to wait for a break in the traffic to get across to the gate. Seriously? Can't these things be forseen?
Time of arrival for the 5pm shuttle: 7:59. For a 35 min. flight that should have left at 5pm.
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