For a few days now, I've know that UPS was seeking me out. I've had the yellow and brown sticker left for me, saying; hey! we have a package for you, but since we only seem to deliver when no one with an office job is home, we'll just tease you with this sticker and come back tomorrow (up to three times, then we'll store the package at the least convenient location and you must come retrieve it)
Today, I confounded the system by being home when they stopped by. I was intriqued by this package. Nothing had been ordered, no packages were expected. Could this be a surprise gift? How exciting! When, at last, the package is placed in my hands, I sigh. It's from Banana Republic. Banana Republic? Wha? I look at the addressee.. it's addressed to the former owner of the homestead - a person who has not lived here for over 4 years. Does this surprise me? No. It took that dufus over 2 years to change the registration with the RMV (I know because I received his registration renewal and drivers license renewal forms in the mail). I'm sure he just ordered something and they had his address stored from long ago. I stare at the package.. what do do? I consider for a moment the leaky window, obviously concealed just enough to not draw the inspectors note. The leaky window that caused me a new paint job and a water stain on my couch (currently covered up with a throw). Do I keep the package? Shouldn't it really be mine? It's addressed to my address. I can't help it that he is an idiot, right? For a second, I ponder it... then I decide, no, I'm better than this and give it back to the UPS guy with a 'Sorry, he doesn't live here'.
