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As Seen on The T Archives

July 12, 2007

There is Hope for T Riders, yet...

Earlier this week, I was traveling on a crowded Red Line train. A few stops into the journey, an elderly man with a cane came aboard, wearing a WWII Veteran's hat. He stood next to a pole and grabbed on. I looked around, thinking about the horrible things I've seen on the T: extremely pregnant women on 90 degree days an no A/C on the train not being given a seat, elderly people forced to stand and so on.. but was not going to be able to stand watching an elderly veteran with a cane stand.

And then something miraculous happened. Not one, not two, but three different women asked him if he would like to sit down, which he declined. The third, approximately 20 years of age, followed her request by saying:

ok, and thank you, sir.

Thank you, sir.

July 9, 2007

Physics Lessons on the T

This evening on the Silver Line, the taped announcement informed us:

Courtesy Counts! Riders must share space with baby strollers.


Um.. what? Just with baby strollers? I do believe I also share space with:

- My bag
- The the guy behind me's huge gym back which is digging into my back
- The guy on the other side of me who won't hold the pole so he can cling to his magazine while he lurches all over the place with every movement of the bus
- The seeing eye dog belonging to a woman who can quite clearly see
- People with carting huge luggage on way out from the airport
- All the other people without baby strollers, huge gym bags, seeing eye dogs or luggage.

June 18, 2007

The Long Day Just Gets Longer


My extremely long day gets even longer thanks to yet another entertaining cast of characters on the train. Standing on the platform, already tired and annoyed from having just missed my train and watching two other trains pass by that were not going my way, I see coming toward me a gaggle of activity. Three women, a mother and 1 adult and 1 teen daughter, speaking loudly, waving wildly, stumbling slightly finally come to a stop right next to me. Oh please, please, please don't let them be getting on my train.

A train approaches the station. Rather than reading the destination on the front, they begin frantically asking people around them: where is this train going? where is this train going?!? The train stops, the doors open, I walk on.. the quickly jump on after. What other train could they possibly be getting on?

At the next stop, some seats open up. I take a seat and next thing I know I've got the mother on one of me, the apparently pregnant teen daughter on the other side of me and the adult daughter sits facing us. They are yelling at one another about what stop to get off, how they will get home from the train station, complaining that they can't all sit next to each other. No around us looks up. None of the ladies eyes seem to be able to focus.

Then it comes to this:

Teen: who is going to pick us up?
Mom: We're taking the bus
Adult & Teen (in whiny voices): the bussss
Teen then spends two minutes searching for her cell phone in her bag, giving everyone around her the play by play of all the places she hasn't found it, yet. Finally, when she gets her hands on the phone, the fun continues.

Teen (on phone): yeah, I saw the social worker.
Adult: Mommm.. I have to go to the bathroom. { eyes bugging out }
Mom: shut up.
Teen (to phone): They let me hold the baby twice! It was so great.
Adult: I mean I really have to go, Mom. How am I supossed to go if we're taking the bus?
Teen (to Mom): we can't take the bus!! No way.
Mom: we're taking the bus!
Adult: But I really have to go!
Teen slams her phone shut.
Teen: Maybe Dad will pick us up.
{editorial comment: somehow I doubt the patricarch of this clan is the type to pick someone up from the train)
Teen: {dials}
Adult: Can we go across the street to the bathroom?
Mom: what?
Teen: Dad!
Adult: I can't go in the gross train station bathroom
Teen: Come pick us up.
Adult: I mean it's sooooo.. gross.
Mom: shut up!
Mom: he'll never pick us up.
Adult: yeah, he'll never pick us up.
Teen: Mike can't pick us up, Dad! He's got a baseball game.
Mom: yup, he'll never pick us up.
Adult: never, no way
Teen: what do mean ask him to leave the game? Dad, he's IN the game. He can't leave.
Adult: Mom, I mean it, I've really got to go! {more bug eyes}
Mom: Shut up.
Adult: Really, really, really got to go. I've got to PEE Mom!! I mean I'm going to pee my pants.
Mom: {leaning over to whisper to me}: can you believe that kid is 28 years old?
{lady, that is only one of the things I can't believe here}
Teen: {slams the phone shut} I hung up on him. He says he's all set up in front of the tv.
Mom: told you he wouldn't pick us up.
Adult: She told you.

{when will this trip end?? I close my eyes and try not to hear them. When the trip mercifully ends, I spy the Adult daughter running out of the train station towards a restaurant across the street. It's hard not to laugh. }

February 1, 2007

Holy Smokes!

I managed to get my February Charlie Card/Ticket/LinkPass. I was nervous that it would be possible to do at those crazy, completely not intuitive machines. I am still angry that I have to go to the machines each month with my fake Wage Works "credit card" and "reload" my pass when I used to just get it in the mail.

So I approached the machine with trepidation. I read the instructions... 3 times. It wasn't really clear to me which option to pick, so I tried the one that instinctively I would never select. Bingo! It was correct. So from then on for every choice presented to me, I thought: what is the opposite of what I would expect here? Then picked the opposite and voila! February LinkPass added to my current Card/Ticket/Pass.

Now let's see if it works.

January 29, 2007

Experimentation of the Ridiculous

Last week I was riding the illustrious Silver Line when I glanced down at the open seat next to me and spotted a condom. Not a used one.. get your mind out of the gutter. Nope, it was a single condom still in it's shiny wrapper. Most likely it had fallen out of some young hopefuls back pocket. I sat looking at it for a few seconds, then decided to do what anyone else would: I ignored it.

For the remainder of my short trip I was bemused at every stop as people got on, glanced at the open seat, but upon recognizing it's current occupant reacted with slight confusion combined with either a head tilt or full body back up, then passed by looking for a less controversial open seat. I was getting excited to see what would happen once there were no other seats: would someone dare to pick it up? What would they do with it if they did (throw it away or pocket it for personal use later)? Would they just sit right on top of it? Unfortunately, I arrived at my destination long before the bus filled up and I don't know what became of that little condom. But if anyone out there does.. please write in and tell!

January 18, 2007

Yesterday...

My ride on the T was interupted to pause at JFK for police to board the train and walk around.

Bomb sniffing dogs. Police searches.. What does the T know that we don't?

January 16, 2007

Take the Long Way Home

Tonight while waiting for the train, I spied a man with a dog approaching me on the platform. A blind man? No. His uniform declared him "explosives detection" police. Oh, this CAN'T be a good sign. I watch him patrolling the platform until the train arrives. I continue to stare after him, thinking: if he's getting on this train, perhaps best to take the next one. He remains on the platform, so I jump onboard.

My reward for working late was an actual seat on the train. I settle in, take out my magazine when at the next stop a couple enter the car. The man sits 2 seats down from me, leaving an empty seat for the woman. I look up at her with dread as she approaches. Let me remind those of you who don't remember: I am mean sometimes. I will be heading straight down upon my death. I dread her approach because she's a good 300 lbs. and fully intends to squish into the seat next to me.

She wiggles her way into the seat and I'm pushed halfway into the next seat. This wouldn't be so bad if there weren't a pole in between the seats which my leg is now rammed against. I start thinking: is it rude to get up? Will she be insulted if I move? What does that say? That she is so big that it's actually physically uncomfortable to sit next to her? Is there a Hallmark card for the social faux paus that will result from my unwedging myself from this seat? This pole is digging into my leg and it really hurts! A few minutes pass. Is it now too late to move? We arrive at the next stop and a skinny girl decides to take the seat on the other side of me (that I'm now halfway in). She has GOT to be kidding. I glare at her, but she has already entered an iPod inspired haze. However, her arrival sort of forced me back towards Ms. Hefty who decides that she is uncomfortable with this development and stands up. Sweet relief!

January 2, 2007

Charlie Tickets/Pass/Card - The Review

When I arrived at the train station today, the line was indeed long, snaking around the small lobby multiple times. The T helpers swarmed, trying to get people to understand the machines. I was feeling quite intelligent, having already done my time in line last week. I was completely expecting the Charlie Card/Pass/Ticket I had not to work, but to my surprise, the gate opened and let me right in. Then I got on the Red Line and endured yet another day of "traffic ahead, expect delays". Sigh. When I got to my final destination, the electricity was off in half the station, including the half of the station containing the Ticket machines. Nice! The sad thing is I believe the T got off easy today. There were far fewer cars in the lots. I suspect that many people haven't actually returned from the holiday.

January 1, 2007

Charlie Cards: Write to the Bottom

Dear MBTA: Are you trying to get people not to ride the T?

A quick mathematical analysis tells me this: my total T charges for parking and train after fair increase is $159/month. Cost for me to drive and park at work: $180. $21/month not to deal with any of the following crap (and I’m not even getting started on the poor train service and I ride the Red Line). I am a big believer in public transportation, but you are severely testing my patience.

This Charlie Card/Ticket/Pass (whatever it’s called) is absurd. People don’t understand how to use them, including your own employees. The “tickets” and the plastic cards that drain down the value…. I do understand those – because I went to the website and studied how they worked for awhile. But you’ve done an exceptionally piss poor job of explaining this to the general public. No where is this more true than for those of us who used to have the “all can ride” T pass.

First of all, why can’t it just continue to be called a T pass? It’s not even clear if it’s now called a Charlie Pass because (if you’re a subway or a bus rider), it’s now called a “Link Pass”, which seems to be the pass formerly known as the Combo Pass. What the fuck? No Subway only or Bus only passes anymore? This isn’t an issue for me as I use a Combo pass anyway, but for people who bought only a Subway or Bus pass, the “Link Pass”, now their only option, is significantly more expensive than their previous pass. However, again the education on this was non-existent. People do not understand what is changing about the passes, as I learned last week.

After being informed by my employer that the T will no longer be working with the provider which previously had allowed me to receive my T PASS in the mail and pay via payroll deduction. They would now be sending me a credit card which I could use to purchase my own Charlie Card/Ticket/Pass in the dreaded Charlie Card/Ticket/Pass machines each month. Never mind that this totally sucks - receiving the pass in the mail was a significantly more convenient. Never mind that half the time these machines have long lines, are down or not accepting credits (which would put me in the extremely unpleasant position of having already paid for the pass via payroll deduction, but now unable to use the ‘credit card’ to purchase the actual pass). I may get over all that (though not soon), but what I really can’t stand is that it’s nearly impossible to figure out how to use these machines without help, extra T personnel to help. I tried to buy my pass at the machine, I really did. I thought it would give me one of the plastic cards, but it won’t. You have to already have a plastic card, then you can “add value” to it. But I don’t want to add value, I just want my T pass! In the end, it gave me a paper ticket. There is no way this paper ticket is going to last for a whole month. It will undoubtedly disintegrate or get wet. So I went to the “Charlie Card Customer Service” booth in the station. I asked if I could change it for a plastic one and was told I could only do that at the Downtown Crossing station. So there was no service at the customer service booth.

The next day I happened through Downtown Crossing and went to “Customer Service” booth. It was quite a site. The line stretched the length of the station hallway and wasn’t moving. I was about to leave when the woman in front of me turned and said: I’ve been here every day this week and this is the shortest line yet. People were already antsy and complaining about how long they had been there. A T employee wandered up and down the line trying to get people to use the machines, but most people in the line were there because they had some problem using them. Finally an elderly woman yelled back: don’t tell me to use that damn machine, it’s impossible to figure out, it’s down half the time and I need my pass. Others in the line began yelling out as well: Why is there only 1 person in the booth? Why are the Charlie Tickets/Passes/Cards not good on the commuter rail – what about people who use both the train and the commuter rail (good question.. it’s not uncommon, stupid MBTA). Another woman got so fed up she just started yelling that the customer service sucks! Finally, I got close to the front of the line where a man was complaining that he had waited in line yesterday, explained that he used both the subway and commuter rail and had been given the wrong pass. The T employee, who had finger nails approximately 3 inches long (we’re talking like photo in the Guinness Book of the man with the longest nails in the world long), started yelling back at him that this was the only station handling problems, there were only 2 employees and they were being worked to the bone. OH this did not sit well with the line, which had only been growing. Good thing she was behind bullet proof glass. She went on to compound the issue when the next person asked for Subway Pass and was told: there is no more Subway Pass. Could she have explained that the name changed to Link Pass and it is now the only gig in town? Would it have been so hard? Apparently so because that is what she did and the guy seemed stumped. I’m sure her defense is she gets tired of answering the same questions all day, and perhaps that isn’t her fault, but if you get the same damn questions all day, perhaps the T could consider doing a better job of explaining their changes.

Can't wait to tomorrow - the first business day of the new, incomprehensible system. I'm expecting torches and pitch forks.

December 4, 2006

Charlie Pass TicketCard

I don't get it. I'm an intelligent, well educated person, but this Charlie nonsense goes way over my head. What is the T trying to do to us? Is a CharlieCard just a plastic Charlie Ticket that lasts longer and can be swiped, rather than inserted? Why would anyone want a CharlieCard now when it seems it uses the increased January rates - I think, it's hard to tell. What happens to my regular old T-Pass, now called Charlie Ticket, but it's not really a Charlie Ticket because it's already plastic, not paper and it's good all month. Did they friggin' get the credit card issue resolved so people can buy their passes with a credit card?

I DON'T GET IT. All I want to know is when I get my T-pass for January, will it work the same way it does now?

August 28, 2006

T Annoyance #3568

I hate it when people get on the train and even though there is plenty of space for them to stand they really want to be standing where you are standing, so the squish right up next to you. Now, I get in the habit of standing in the same place, too, but if someone else is already in that location when I get on, I just accept it and move on. Why is this so hard for some people?

** This post is dedicated to the bleached blond girl with the completely wrinkled white sweater who seemed to think if she pretended I wasn't there, she could stand in my space this morning **

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August 2, 2006

Transportation Woes

I'm sure you're all eagerly awaiting to hear my decision on how to get to the airport from a few days ago. Well, I did literally the most ridiculous thing: I created a 4th option, a combination of 1 (risk squishing by taking Silver Line through Ted Williams tunnel) and 2 (risk road rage by driving). I drove, took a wrong turn somewhere on the detour in Southie, so decided to park at the $9 lot and take the Silver Line). It was the worst of both worlds. I need my head examined. The only interesting part was going through the Ted Williams tunnel. Going east toward the airport, the tunnel remains closed except for the Silver Line (which is actually a bus, for those of you not from Boston).

The first thing that happens as the Silver Line approaches the tunnel, is the bus picks up it's police escort (one can only assume that should the bus be squished from above, the 1 police officer in the car would rescue us all - ?). As we approached the entrance to the tunnel, we passengers on the bus all look nervously at each other, a mother grabs her 12ish year old son's hand (which he quickly snatches back with a cry of 'Mom!' and a look of embarassment). As we pass into the tunnel, we lean toward the windows, all staring up. Not a sound is heard on the bus. The ceiling appears to be fine, but the bus travels very slowly, allowing for lingering glances at the walls of the tunnel that never occur when driving through at 60 mph +. The spots where there have been leaks are really obvious at 20mph, the rust, the dripping, the skeeviness. Not exactly confidence building, I'll tell ya.


And let's just talk about the Red Line today. There was a medical emergency on a train ahead of mine, which turned out to be 2 people having heat exhaustion. So the train stops in the station, leaves all the doors open, which simultaneously lets all the a/c out and allows more and more people in, on a train that was already a billion degrees with a/c. People were sweating like cold beverage on a hot day. I turned around and there I spied a guy with wet patches all over his shirt. He just shrugged. Then the T sprang a leak. Water started dripping from the ceiling above some of the seats, causing people to jump up and even further crowd the space. I hate the train sometimes. On the way home, we had the small problem of needing to go slow because in this heat, the tracks can expand, increasing the derailment odds. Yes, my confidence in being able to get around is skyrocketing!

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December 12, 2005

Fuck the Red Line!

Going to work yesterday there was a medical emergency causing traffic backups, going home there was a disabled train. Today going to work there was a medical emergency, AGAIN. How is that even possible? What are the chances? From my old house I used to commute via the Orange Line. I can't remember 1 medical emergency holding us up. Why is the Red Line so prone to them? Or are they? Are "medical emergencies" just what they tell us to explain extraordinarily long commutes because the are just fucked up???.

Get it together, Red Line. It's New England. Cold weather happens! Every year.. around this time.-----
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December 9, 2005

A Little Life Observation #2

If everyone pushes and shoves to get on the train, we DON'T all get on faster.-----
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November 2, 2005

He's Just Not that Into You

This morning as I was waiting for the train, a woman came and stood next to me. Soon after I heard a sharp intake of breath from her direction, then turned to see her waving at some guy. Her whole face lit up when he came over. She asked how his weekend was, clearly infatuated with him. He said hi, then proceed to tell her every detail of his extremely dull weekend. As his voice droned on and on and on, grating on every nerve I have, I heard her perodically saying in a perky way "uh huh, wow!, cool!". I so wanted to turn around and yell at her: "he's just not that into you! Please cease this pathetic flirting with him, it's embarassing. " Did you hear him ask one thing about you? NO. Has he gone on about his boring life for over 5 minutes as if he were the most facinating creature to ever walk the earth without acknowledging your presence? YES. If he were into you, this would not be the case.

Then the train pulled in and Mr. Dull rushed the train, practically pushing people out of the way to get the only remaining seat, leaving her to stand next his seat and continue to listen to his endless stories. All of which just provies, he's unworthy of being admired in the first place. Seriously.. sweetie, take out a book and make better use of your time because he's just not that into you! .-----
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January 5, 2005

Dilemna

Today, as has happened every day since the great Blizzard of '05, the train was moving at the speed of a snail on downers. As a result the train packed to the gills, as they say. The train keeps making these jerky stop and start moves, so I�m holding on for dear life* when the woman sitting next to me begins pulling the sleeve of my coat. I look down and she says, in her best �I�m trying to be discrete, but I need to be loud enough for you and everyone else around you to hear me� voice: you�re fly is down. A fact that I had already sensed a few minutes earlier, but had done nothing about because it would be a complete operation to fix this issue. I would have to put my book back in my bag, remove my gloves, and most importantly release my grip from the pole. Now, I can�t release my grip from the pole because if I do, some other hand will take my space and the handle above is too high for me to reach. I will end up wobbling all over the place while we are jerking the whole ride. You can understand why I had made the decision that the fly was just going to have to stay down, yes? Until this woman, who was meaning to be nice, I�m sure, brought it to everyone�s attention. What does one do in this situation? Am I now forced to go through the whole rigmarole because everyone now knows? I look left, I look right. No one is making eye contact with me. I look out the window. I think about it. Nope, I�m not doing it. Zipper be damned.


* let�s see how many clich�s use in this entry, shall we?-----
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February 4, 2004

More T Craziness...

but this time I'm the freak (sort of, I think... )
See, from time to time this guy gets on the train two stops after mine (the busy stop) and this guy looks like Gerry McNamara:

Only Gerry McNamara when he's in his early 30's. I don't know why, but I find this facinating and I have a tendency to stare at him - well, not openly stare, but check him out from time to time. Today he was wearing a trench coat and Ray Ban sunglasses. I almost didn't recognize him in this secret service agent like get up.

so hello gerry of the future from the girl you probably think is stalking you. but I'm not and I'm really not a freak. really.

thank goodness it's Friday because based on this post, I may need to seek professional help over the weekend.

bah!-----
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More T Craziness...

but this time I'm the freak (sort of, I think... )
See, from time to time this guy gets on the train two stops after mine (the busy stop) and this guy looks like Gerry McNamara:

Only Gerry McNamara when he's in his early 30's. I don't know why, but I find this facinating and I have a tendency to stare at him - well, not openly stare, but check him out from time to time. Today he was wearing a trench coat and Ray Ban sunglasses. I almost didn't recognize him in this secret service agent like get up.

so hello gerry of the future from the girl you probably think is stalking you. but I'm not and I'm really not a freak. really.

thank goodness it's Friday because based on this post, I may need to seek professional help over the weekend.

bah!-----
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February 1, 2004

Call of the Rabid Train Rider

Every day I take the train. I get on and move in as far as I can to allow more people to get on later. If I'm early enough I get a seat (oh joy!). I could go on and on about the people who get on and stand in the door, but that isn't the point of this post. Two stops later, we come to a popular stop where tons of people pile on the train. Many times by the time we get there, the train is almost full. The result? The people getting on at this stop are crazed. They must get on the train! They must! As the train pulls into the station, their eyes grow wild with anticipation of the battle to get to the doors, they block out their space with their elbows, they eye each other - checking out the competition. The train doors slowly open... ready, set, go! They push and shove - it's every man, woman and child for themselves! They literally hurl themselves onto the train even when there is no more room for them. My favorites are those that squeeze themselves into a space which a person 1/3 their size would comfortably take up and then glare at the people around them for squishing them.
What is this behavior?
It's not as if the train is the last helicoptor out of Saigon, or you need to get to the end of the Titanic before it sinks. There will be another train in 5 or 10 min. What is so important that you can't get to work 5 or 10 min. later? I could buy one person having some crisis where they absolutely have to get somewhere - but it's an entire stop full of people! This post doesn't really have a point, except people are crazy, which isn't really news to anyone.-----
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December 2, 2003

Just Another Day on the Train

This morning on the train, I stand there minding my own business, reading my magazine. At the next stop an older person comes lurching into the train and positions himself right next to me. Even a milliseconds worth of observation tells me that he is a bit off in some way. However, in accordance with train culture, I ignore him and continue reading. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see him sort of weaving around � not too solid on his feet, though he has a firm grasp on the pole in front of me. I look around to see if anyone else notices. Everyone else is looking down, reading, or just nodding his or her head to some extraordinarily loud music while staring into space. Fine. Back to the magazine I go. A few seconds later I realize this older person may indeed be passed out as he is bending father and father over with each second. I turn my head to look at him with a little horror when his head plops solidly down on my shoulder where he stays, unmoving. I glance around again. No one is looking. I don't know what to do. I DON'T KNOW what to do. I have many skills, but human headrest to strangers is not one of them. Is he drunk? Is he just tired? Does he not realize he is taking a nap on a strangers shoulder? How is it that his hand is still clenched firmly around the pole preventing him from completely falling down? I frantically try to make eye contact with the people sitting down. Obviously, this person needs a seat! But train culture insists that those sitting down never look up (because what if they see someone who needs a seat � like an older passed out person passed out on someone shoulder!). No there are strict train sitting rules which require all people in seats to read as if it's the most interesting thing they have ever seen or to be studying the shoes of all train riders for some in depth shoe survey. Seconds pass. I'm still unsure what to do. We pull into the next station and the older man instantly stands up straight and bounds right off the train. I stare after him with my mouth open and big looking around for the candid camera. I look around one more time. Still no one has noticed. I shrug and return to reading. It's just another day on the train, after all.-----
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November 10, 2003

Tips for Travelers

(well...commuters). If you are heading downstairs to the train, and there is a steady stream of people coming upstairs, guess what: the train in the station. Those people are getting off the train. This would not be the time to meander down the staircase right in the middle of the stairs so no one can get past you. Only to get down to the last set of stairs (where for the first time you can actualy see the train) and then decide to rush with your arms flailing all around so others practically have to duck to avoid getting a black eye. This behavior should be avoided at all costs.-----
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January 8, 2003

Is My Math Off?

On the train on the way home, I saw an ad for ZipCar which said:

350 hours/year having sex

420 hours/year looking for parking

What is wrong with this picture?


Now by my math, that means a whole hour of sex almost every day of the year.. do you know anyone who has sex for an hour almost every day of the year? Am I missing something?

I'm living the wrong life! Of course if I spent over an hour every day looking for parking, I'd want to kill myself.-----
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REAL


    Everything has changed. Nothing has changed. I don't want to go through this again. I can't live without it. I'm sure I can handle it. I couldn't imagine it any other way.
    And if none of this makes sense... well, you obviously aren't a Red Sox fan.
      - Bill Simmons

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