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June 16, 2008

It's the End of the World As I Know It

and I'm not sure I'm fine.

I just received this email from a friend of mine:

Subject: This is why you need to join Facebook.

This an old picture that you sent me, but I got a scanner so watch out. I'm going to post pictures of you from the 80's and you will want to come defend yourself.

oh, this is SO not good.

February 18, 2008

Conspiracy Theorists Dream Day


JFK Memorabilia Unearthed
, including atranscript of Oswald and Ruby plot to kill JFK

And

Dodi's dad accuses Royal family of murder,
while Diana's butler claims he lied to investigators

February 11, 2008

Attention... Attention


Just a reminder, for those of you to whom this matters:

Thursday is Valentine's Day


Prepare now.

Why am I saying this? This evening I stopped by the local Home Depot, visiting the tools section. I could write a whole post on the tools section, but I won't now...

On my way out of Home Depot, I spotted all around the cash registers:

Roses. Valentine's bouquets.

Oh no. In my head, I picture the scene from Thursday: a guy shopping for another gadget or power tool of some sort and spots these roses on the way out and thinks: Valentine's Day? Shit is that today? Well, cool.. I'm here, killing 2 birds with one stone. I don't care how much or little they care about Valentine's Day, no significant other wants wilting, discolored Home Depot roses.

Spend a few momments thinking up something. It doesn't have to be big. Just something meaningful.

January 16, 2008

The Surprise Package


For a few days now, I've know that UPS was seeking me out. I've had the yellow and brown sticker left for me, saying; hey! we have a package for you, but since we only seem to deliver when no one with an office job is home, we'll just tease you with this sticker and come back tomorrow (up to three times, then we'll store the package at the least convenient location and you must come retrieve it)

Today, I confounded the system by being home when they stopped by. I was intriqued by this package. Nothing had been ordered, no packages were expected. Could this be a surprise gift? How exciting! When, at last, the package is placed in my hands, I sigh. It's from Banana Republic. Banana Republic? Wha? I look at the addressee.. it's addressed to the former owner of the homestead - a person who has not lived here for over 4 years. Does this surprise me? No. It took that dufus over 2 years to change the registration with the RMV (I know because I received his registration renewal and drivers license renewal forms in the mail). I'm sure he just ordered something and they had his address stored from long ago. I stare at the package.. what do do? I consider for a moment the leaky window, obviously concealed just enough to not draw the inspectors note. The leaky window that caused me a new paint job and a water stain on my couch (currently covered up with a throw). Do I keep the package? Shouldn't it really be mine? It's addressed to my address. I can't help it that he is an idiot, right? For a second, I ponder it... then I decide, no, I'm better than this and give it back to the UPS guy with a 'Sorry, he doesn't live here'.

January 13, 2008

Snow Day!


My office has already said we can work at home tomorrow and schools are already announcing they will be closed. .

One part of me says weee.... and another part of me says this is just not the New England where I grew up. What happened to making the kids get up early and eagerly watch for the name of their town go by on the tv scroll or for the anchors to read it off.

Since I don't have to get ready for the day tomorrow, I'm watching this absurd Golden Globes announcement show. Good grief do these people need writers. They are completely lost without prompters telling them what to say.

Snow Day!


My office has already said we can work at home tomorrow and schools are already announcing they will be closed. .

One part of me says weee.... and another part of me says this is just not the New England where I grew up. What happened to making the kids get up early and eagerly watch for the name of their town go by on the tv scroll or for the anchors to read it off.

Since I don't have to get ready for the day tomorrow, I'm watching this absurd Golden Globes announcement show. Good grief do these people need writers. They are completely lost without prompters telling them what to say.

December 26, 2007

Happy Holidays.... especially happy for Pats fans.

Sorry I got so wrapped up in the craziness that I didn't have time to say Happy Holidays to you all! So HAPPY HOLIDAYS..

And can you believe that a US Senator got involved in the broadcasting of a football game? The man knows his way to his constituents hearts. And now the Patriots game - you know that tiny, unimportant, potentially history making game - will now be available nationwide and on 3 networks simultaneously in the Boston area. Wee.... what else can New England sports fans possibly expect under their trees this year?


p.s. those of you who were planning to watch Goodnight, and Goodluck on CBS, you're pre-empted.. but if you haven't seen it, get yourself to the video store pronto.

November 22, 2007

Happy Thanksgiving

Thanks for reading. Hope you are all warm and save, sitting comfortably in stretchy pants.

November 5, 2007

Boston.com Redesign Review...

You know you want it..

It actually feels busier to me than before. The whole top section is baffling to me. Why is the boston.com logo in the middle? Why is the Boston Globe logo on the right?
What is the hierarchy of the content? The top right of the content section (the prime real estate on the page) has as it's top 3 items: Q&A with Steve Almond, Miss Conduct and Style Blog links??
Some content sections on the page have sub-navigation (i.e. Cars): really?
Why do the items only in the My Community section have icons?
What is up with the 3 lines of dots as section separators?
What is the deal with only the items at the right side of the main navigation have sub-navigation (in a weird little box)?

The one thing boston.com always keeps consistent is it's complete lack of consistency in the underlying sections:

Today's Globe: Lives as a subsection under the News section and is using the old design
News, Business, Sports, Travel, A&E: Use old design and suddenly has sub-navigation which doesn't appear on home page. Note: this means there is no way from the home page to go directly to the Red Sox only page in the Sports section. Spring training is still 4 months away, they have time to fix that one.
Events: Goes to it's own section with unique design - navigation inexplicably moves to left, not all the options are there and is vertical!. I liked it much better at the top of the page where you could select a date and see events.
Real Estate and Cars: when you go to the section, it maintains the same main nav, but has alot more sub-nav than the home page, and completely different page layout
Jobs: Completely different main nav
Local Search: Inexplicable secondary set of tabs as navigation (and the 3 lines of dots for section separators from the home page)

Note: the main navigation options are in a different order in the new design vs. the old design. Very annoying if you are flipping back and forth between the home page and the other sections.

And would it be SO hard to have the Ideas section found in the Sunday paper as a section online? I LOVE that section, but online those articles are all over the place.

The FAQ states: "Different features and sections of the site are scheduled to debut on different days. While we realize that this might be confusing in the short-term, we’ve studied our options carefully and believe that the gradual switch we have planned will ultimately result in a better user experience." A. Think again. B. We're not idiots. We know this is just easier for your technical staff.

Can't wait for the first day with the glaring blinding orange background add for a certain cell phone provider!

November 4, 2007

Don't Mess with Jerry

ha!

September 27, 2007

Just Cause..

September 23, 2007

The War Begins Tonight

I mean the the Ken Burns documentary on WWII.

The War : A Ken Burns Film : DIRECTED AND PRODUCED BY KEN BURNS AND LYNN NOVICK THE WAR, a seven-part series directed and produced by Ken Burns and Lynn Novick, tells the story of the Second World War through the personal accounts of a handful of men and women from four quintessentially American towns. The series explores the most intimate human dimensions of the greatest cataclysm in history — a worldwide catastrophe that touched the lives of every family on every street in every town in America — and demonstrates that in extraordinary times, there are no ordinary lives.

It all begins this evening on your local PBS station.


I have an admission to make: I'm a Ken Burns geek. Anything he produces is gold to me. A replay of the 10 part Civil War film? Lock the doors, I'm in for the week. Don't get even get me started on the Jazz or Baseball series'. Burns has a way of letting you get to know historical figures, famous and not, that provides an understanding of history that is eye opening. History isn't just dates and facts, it's people, place and context. Burns lets you behind the curtain. Take advantage of the opportunity...

April 12, 2007

Men are...

and endless source of amazement for me. Here is my example du jour:

guy: why don't you marry Papelbon so we can get free Red Sox tickets?
me: SURE! Except that I think he's already married.
guy: Really? What about Beckett? Beckett's not married.
me: Doesn't he date super models?
guy: oh, don't put yourself down that way.
me: um, actually what I mean is that I may be too smart
guy: { nodding, not really looking at me. I can almost see the invisible bubble above his head containing the image of super models }
me: I said.. because I'm too smart.
guy: {sideways head tilt} what?
me: nevermind


But just for the record, I can't marry Beckett because he looks just like my brother and that would just be weird. (ha)

March 18, 2007

You Know You Live in an Irish City When..

A. A St. Patrick's Breakfast which every politician in a 300 mile radius (and potential presidential candidates like Joe Biden) attend and mock each other exists
B. When that breakfast is on tv
C. When that breakfast is on tv and has a pre-show.


The only problem with all this is you can't watch the whole breakfast on tv and make it to the parade route in time to get a good spot.

February 13, 2007

May I Remind You.. In this Archdioses God Don't Run the Bingo

and tonight on the south shore of MA, if you don't have your copy of The Departed on DVD, you are shit out of luck.

Now I knew the movie would be popular in the Boston area, but I was unprepared for the extremes one would have to go to find the 2 DVD Special Edition. If you're like me, you need, absolutely need, the 2 DVD Special Edition. No regular 1 disc edition will do. I cruised into Circuit City around 7 and traveled up and down the DVD aisles. No Departed. Finally I spy a small gathering toward the front of the store. At last! A whole display of The Departed.. when I get there I see there are only about 10 copies left - none of which are the 2 DVD Special Edition. Only the regular version - full screen, not widescreen. This can't be right! Others are circling the display with growing desperation that the prize they seek isn't there. No one can accept it and they forge on looking. I track down a salesperson (by pretending to look at expensive stereo equipment) and the guy laughs. The 2 DVD set, he chortles.. we don't have any of those. You didn't get any in?? Oh, no. They're sold out. My mouth agape, I stare after him as he walks away and a second customer approaches and asks: do you have the 2 DVD Departed? After he gets the same answer, our eyes meet and we both bolt for the door.

Where else? Where else can I go? God Damn it, I need me my Leo. I need to see again the alley I cut through to get to work everyday where Martin Sheen lies dead. To see Leo meet Martin Sheen and Marky Mark under the bridge over which my train travels everyday to work. I need to see Nicholson mock the priests for being pedophiles. The only flaws in this film are Leo's black Red Sox hat and the accents. Really - some tell hollywood not to even try to do Boston accents. The only way to a correct Boston accent is to have been blessed to have been born to it. And someone tell Martin Sheen that people just don't speak like JFK circa 1960 in real life. Ok.. and isn't it almost a cliche to use a Dropkick Murphy's song in a movie involving Boston?

I hurry through the mall... nothing. NOTHING! Don't make me go to Best Buy.. I can't! I won't! Wait.. hold the phone: Borders. People don't think of them first for DVDs. Plus they are usually more expensive. I pull into the parking lot, rush through to the back, when there it is: the Departed display. Oh, no... I don't see the Special Edition. Wait.. wait.. is it? Could it be? The Special Edition and at the uber sale price of $22.99? Only 1 remains. Can that be correct? I'm never that lucky. I pick up the copy and examine it. I feel a presence over my left shoulder. Someone is watching me handle the DVD. He is willing me to put it back. He wants it for himself. Hell no. I will beat him off with a stick if I that is what is required. I turn with my prize and walk away. I look around at a few books then proceed to the checkout. In front of me in line holding his very own copy of the Special Edition is the guy from behind me at the display. I smile bemused. He says: you took the last one and I was bummed, but I found this one randomly on a shelf in the wrong place! I tell him the stores I had previously tried and he tells me Best Buy was also sold out. We get up to the checkout and the cashiers eyes open wide: we have 1 of these left? From what I've heard there aren't any left on the South Shore. The guy and I laugh... luck has come to 2 desperados.

March 13, 2006

My Entertainment For the Day

Email from a friend:
match sends an email each week with your matches. Well, I am an 86% match to myself.

From the mouths of co-workers:
He likes to think he thinks 'outside the box', but that presumes he knows what is IN the box.

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January 29, 2006

Overheard at that Other Bastion of Cheap Goods..

BJ's Wholesale Club.

Woman #1 to her friend: that cute guy over there just smiled at me.

Friend (after looking over at the guy): he has a box of 100 Tampax in his cart and he just turned down the Pampers aisle. I'm thinking "not single".

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How to shop at Ikea, Stoughton, MA

If you are not living in the greater Boston area, you are probably not aware that until recently, we have been deprived of the opportunity to buy cheap Swedish designed home goods (the horror). Nearly 20 years without an NBA championship, now this. How did we survive? But late last fall, just in time for the Christmas season, Ikea finally arrived just south of Boston in Stoughton (that is Stow-ton to those who speak in alternative accents). The arrival of Ikea caused major traffic disruptions in the area, including people sitting in traffic for over an hour and on occasion leading to the closure of the highway exit to prevent anymore cars from entering the area. Things have improved somewhat since the grand opening, but proper planning for your trip to Ikea is still advisable. As an Ikea veteran, I will share my knowledge with you. You will want to avoid a trip such as my first time at Ikea, which clocked in at approximately 3 days.

When To Go

  • If you can go during the week. Go then. I致e never tried this, but it almost has to be better than the weekends.

  • Ikea opens on Saturday and Sundays at 10 am. Be there at 10 am.

  • If you are like me and are always late, and you get there around 10:15 or so, do not take the left turn into the main parking garage, continue straight and go up to the second level of parking (which inexplicably is not accessible from within the lower level).

  • If you get there any time before 10:30 or so, you should be able to get a spot on the second level. Possibly even in the å??amily friendly� parking area. I知 not sure what that means, except that itç—´ close to the door.

  • Arriving any time after 11 is risky. By 11, the traffic police have arrived and they will direct you where to park. Once the people in the orange vests are on the scene, youæ± e looking at least 15 minutes of highly agitating driving around looking for a spot. You WILL end up following someone who is leaving the store around at a crawl in order to get their space. Inevitably, they will have parked at the farthest corner of the earth, but you will not want to stop following them because youæ± e afraid you won稚 ever find another person to follow around at 2 mph. You値l think to yourself: if I wasn稚 in this car about to kill someone from annoyance at having to drive around like this, I would be amused watching all these cars crawling along following people.

  • If youæ± e going to arrive after 12, you may want to plan for another day, unless you enjoy high levels of frustration. Itç—´ entirely possible that neither the bottom nor second levels of the garage will be admitting any further cars (the ratio of cars patrolling the garage to people leaving and available to be followed at 2 mph will have reached the traffic jam level and the orange vests have taken control of the situation). You may have to park in the auxiliary parking lot. This is horrible. Itç—´ about a 5 � 10 minute walk away and will significantly limit the amount and size of cheap Swedish goods you will be able to carry back to your car. Of course, you could stand and wait with your pile of goodies, while sending someone else to get the car. Itç—´ a risky move as itç—´ entirely possible that person will sit in traffic trying to get back up to the store for over 20 minutes. Best to do as I suggest and get there by 10.

Shopping Strategies Once Youæ± e Inside

  • Letç—´ say you致e done as I suggested and gotten there around 10:15 or 10:30. If you致e never been to Ikea before, just accept that youæ± e there for an extended period of time to walk through the display rooms. Itç—´ actually a fun time, and you only need to do it once. Make sure to take breaks.. sit on some of the fine furniture while youæ± e at it. On return trips you can skip this part until next season when some new items come out.

  • Once you are down in the area where you can actually pick up the items you want, get a cart. You may be tempted to try make due with the large blinding yellow bag. Unless you are there for a specific item and you know exactly where it is (something that is nearly impossible as the space is designed to make you walk in circles for ages with no idea where you are, constantly finding new cheap Swedish designed goods you never knew you needed), forget the and go with cart.

  • Shop as quickly as possible. Remember, the throngs are coming! Within half an hour, the place will be packed with what seems like every family in eastern Massachusetts. Children, for some reason, aren稚 very entertained by Ikea (they just aren稚 as excited by 100 tea light candles for $2.99 as I am) until they get to the childrenç—´ section, so they tend to scream with alarming frequency. The earlier youæ± e there, the smaller the crowd, the less mind splitting screaming you will have to endure and the less time you値l have to wait in the checkout line.

  • Avoid the food (no matter how famished your shopping experience leaves you). Just because they seem to pump the aroma of freshly baked cinnamon rolls throughout the store, doesn稚 mean you have to succumb. This is store that sells Swedish meatballs in a plastic bag. Meatballs in a bag � totally suspect. Yeah, I知 talking to you man who was in line in front of me while we waited half an hour just to pay on my first trip to Ikea when I didn稚 have the benefit of the knowledge I am now imparting to you. His entire cart was 2 containers of the cinnamon buns, 3 bags of Swedish meatballs and a lamp. Clearly a mental patient. Who waits half an hour to buy that? If youæ± e waiting half an hour just to pay, you壇 better have a cart full to the point of overflowing... because youæ± e not done waiting.

  • Again, I can稚 emphasize this enough, get there early, move quickly, avoid the lines because after all of that, you may have to wait just to get out of the building if itç—´ crowded enough, then you may have to wait with your things if you parked in the auxiliary parking lot (see above). Then once you to the parking lot, after being followed around by parking vultures who haven稚 followed my advice, you値l be able to start your car so you can sit in traffic to LEAVE.

  • At some point in my journey, I did begin to wonder why on earth people put themselves through this just for cheap goods. And I wonder if every Massachusetts house is going to begin looking exactly the same because, believe me, everyone in the state is in this store. But then I look over at the new lamp lighting my living room and it makes me happy.

    Happy Shopping!

January 1, 2006

Perhaps My Favorite Gift

Smush Bush!

Note the money in his hand..

and the back of his head!

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December 12, 2005

A Day Without del.icio.us ...

is like a day without sunshine (or a day without a silly link post on this blog). I'm tramatized.-----
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December 5, 2005

Getting Told Only What "They" Think You Should Know

The US Government, the folks behind such find websites as ready.gov (which teaches us how to be prepared for emergencies through the use of nonsensical drawings) and energyhog.org (which teaches kids how not to waste energy. Why kids? Here's a tip: cut down on the Christmas lights. My neighborhood looks like friggin' Las Vegas. I thought we were supossed to be conserving energy) are back at it with a site for girls 10 - 16, girlshealth.gov

This site is condescending to young ladies in so many ways.

First of all, the tagline for this site is: You are the rhythm of the universe! Mind, Body & Spirit. WTF does that mean? It's hard enough to be 10 - 16, you need this bullshit?

Today's poll is: Do you think the national driving age should be raised to 18 instead of 16? What kid aged 10 - 16 is going to vote to raise the driving age?

The "Body" section is subtittled "Becoming a Woman". GAG. It's unclear why this is the subtitle because the topics there are: Changes in Your Body, Getting Your Period, Getting Enough Sleep, Grooming and Hygiene, Fighting Germs. I'm sure that they only meant the Period section to be called Becoming a Woman. I'm cringing. I absolutely can't stand when people call it that. I'm having bad flashbacks.


As I looked through the Fitness, Body and Nutition sections, I was amazed that there was nothing about eating disorders, well that is because it's in the "Mind" section. Perhaps you are insane if you have an eating disorder or eating disorders are only in your mind?
And if you feel like you might develop an eating disorder, just fill out the Just4Me log with all the things that are good about you.

Of course sex is never explicity mentioned, only the bad things that can happen to you if you have sex. This is the US government, after all.. no information that could possibly be educational, only a hotline number to call if your sexually abused and information about date rape drugs (what is the logic here? Girls can't have facts about sex because it will make them promiscuous, yet information about date rape drugs doesn't encourage boys to get them???)

This is the closest they get to discussing contraception, and it's buried 3 levels down, not that easy to find. Condoms aren't the only method of contraception, you know. There is a whole section on Relationships which doesn't mention sex, except for advice on how to not feel pressured to do something you don't want to do!

Your doctor can give you information on abstinence (avoiding sex), the best choice, and other ways to protect yourself from both diseases and getting pregnant. It is important to know that while condoms can protect against some infections, they don’t protect against everything.

The best way to protect your reproductive health is to wait until you are married to have sex because condoms don't work for all infections and only reduce the risk of others.

It must be impossible to marry someone with an STD. Good to know!


Now, there actually is some good information on this site and it's explanation of the femail reproductive system seemed way to explicit for the current administration to allow, but it's ridiculous to not give kids all the information they need to exist in the world today.-----
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December 2, 2005

Important Issues of the Day (sort of)

A number of important things are going on right now in the world of Boston sports and beyond.

Ball Gate - just let Dougie have it. The only issue with less importance in Boston right now is whether it's a Christmas or Holiday tree. Everyone just needs to get a grip.

Manny's Condo is up for Sale - waaaa... don't leave me, Manny.

Find a GM - yo! Red Sox, get it together. Just because you pulled off the Beckett trade without one doesn't get you off the hotseat. This is New England.. what have you done for me lately?

Joe Thornton Trade - Of course I'm opposed to this. But since I pay zero attention to hockey, my opinion doesn't really count, especially since it's based on the fact that he is the only Bruin's player whose name I know AND he is not very tough on the eyes.

Of course, I love it when Bill Simmons tells the truth about Many and Lucchino, then to my complete shock exposes himself as the only other person I know of has heard of the recently cancelled show, Reunion. Reunion, the cheesy Fox show (is that redundant?) with the tagline: "In 1986, they were the best of friends. By 2005, one will be murdered. All will be suspects." Who could resist such drech? The show is so impossibly bad, that it's addicting.

Bill says:

They'll watch the first one, think it's terrible, vow to stop watching it, then inexplicably keep watching. By the third show, not only will they be hooked, they'll feel like an idiot for being hooked. But they'll keep watching.

This is exactly what happened to me. Tivo suggested it to me (I'm sure because it knows I've had a crush on the guy who plays Craig sincethe show he was on last year, which was also cancelled. That one is even more embarassing to like because it was a teen drama). I watched Reunion and thought: this is the worst show I've ever seen in my life. But then I kept trying to figure out the mystery and two days later there I was setting up the season pass on Tivo. I'm going to stop humiliating myself now. Why does bad tv feel so good?-----
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November 12, 2005

What Does Your Desk Say About You?

I was just reading: Workspace reveals clues about who we are. Since my desk is a disaster area, I've always taken the 'messy desk as sign of creative person' route.

However, this article says things like:

Deliberate clues people leave are things like plants, which reveal that you are nice and that you intend to stay a while; and candy, which reveals that you're an extrovert, because you want people to drop by your office and talk
.

I used to have a plant in my office, but one day I just stopped watering it and it died. I also used to have a candy dish full of snacks, but it's been sitting empty for some time now. Don't think I really need a shrink to analyze this stuff..-----
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November 9, 2005

And Then There Were Two

There are two baby pandas in the US! One in DC and one in San Diego. How did I miss this?

Doesn't matter because both have panda cams!

DC baby panda, Tai Shan, M, dob 7/9/05

San Diego baby panda, Su Lin, F, dob 8/2/05


When does the match making start for these two?


Tai is still my favorite. I mean, look at this face:

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November 6, 2005

Shock and Awe

Two months ago, I purchased a laptop at Circuit City (this laptop is already $200 less than what I paid for it. Why do I torment myself by checking these things?). While in the rush of buying, the salesman said: if you open a Circuit City credit card, you make no payments for 3 months OR have 0% interest for a year. Hmm.. 0% interest for a year seemed better than just paying for it from my savings account, as I was planning. Wouldn't it be better to still be letting the savings earn some interest? Wouldn't Suze Orman be proud of me? Actually, she'd probably say: do you really need a new laptop. Hey! My old computer was dying! But I digress. So I threw caution to the wind and violated my "don't open stupid store credit cards because they charge about 22% interest and are big scams!" policy and opened the account.

The first credit card statement I received charged no interest. Today I received the second and lo and behold: interest. At the outrageous rate of 16.74%. So I called up the customer service for the credit card and, though there is no option to speak to a human being, I kept pressing 0 until one came on the line (try it, it works!). The person told me that the sale hadn't been wrung up at a promotional rate, so I would have to find my receipt and call the store. They would need to adjust the sale. OK. I call the store and the person who answers is friendly. At first I was confused. I explained my problem to her and she listened to me. Holy crap. She pulled up my receipt on the computer based on a ticket number and could see everything that happened. She then put me on hold for a few minutes. She came back on and asked if she could call me back after she researched the problem as she didn't want to leave me on hold for a long time. I almost fell over. Imagine a customer service person grasping the concept that sitting on hold sucks! About 10 minutes later, someone else from the store called me and said she had spoken to the credit card people and the rate was changed and the finance charge would be reversed. No arguements, no explanations, no screaming at them. SERVICE. Rectifying a mistake in a nice, friendly manner: wo! I was speechless.

And it was a simple thing and now I LOVE them and will shop there all the time. If this were satan's span Best Buy, getting this interest off the account would probably become my full time job. I once tried to return something to Best Buy.. the day after I bought it (this would be in my pre-boycotting Best Buy days), with the receipt. It was still in the box, the box was still sealed in plastic. I had clearly not used the product. After standing in line at customer service for 10 minutes, they finally got to me. The conversation went like this:
Pimple faced, brain dead high school aged clerk: Someone from the products department will have to verify that you didn't break it.
Me: It's sealed in plastic. I haven't used it.
Pimple faced, brain dead high school aged clerk: {blank stare} Uh.. yeah, you need Steve.
Me: Where is Steve?
Pimple faced, brain dead high school aged clerk: I just saw him going that way.
Me: And...
Pimple faced, brain dead high school aged clerk: you need to go get him.
Me: I need to get him. ME?
Pimple faced, brain dead high school aged clerk: Um, yeah..
So I go off looking for this Steve. Eventually I track him down. He looks at the package and says: it's still sealed in plastic. Um.. yeah. Well, tell them I said it's ok, he said. Holy Crap was I pissed. Then I had to get back in line to tell them Steve had said ok.

The lesson here is: SHOP AT CIRCUIT CITY!!-----
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November 3, 2005

Welcome to the Isle of Misfit Toys

Rudolph is on tonight, people! With Hermey, Dolly, Corneilus, the Abomindable Snowmonster and the whole gang.-----
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November 2, 2005

Tai Shan TV

Last week I was watching the baby panda on PANDA CAM and I began to feel bad for him. His whole life is on the internet.. when he falls down, when he mom grabs him by the neck and tells him where to go, when mom baths him, when he tried to make the bars of his cage his girlfriend. Poor little guy. He doesn't know all these crazy humans are staring at him... or does he?

Next I watch him go outside and suddenly the place is all flashes. What is going on? It turns out there was a viewing for donors or something. It was like paparazzi on the red carpet. I thought for sure he would be terrified and scamper back to the den, but hot damn if he didn't go right out into the middle and strike a pose. It was as if he was saying, "Baby, I'm a star!".

Check him out doing the same thing today in his media debut.-----
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October 11, 2005

But I Hate Absurdity When it Affects Me

I am trying to decipher a document which was

edited by hand in cryptic handwriting
then faxed
to someone else who made a pdf of it
in the process of pdf creation the text was shrunk to 25% of original size
the pdf was printed on a bubble jet
the printout was faxed to me

Yes, I'm serious. Anyone have a magnifying glass?-----
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I Love Absurdity

Awhile ago, Tivo kindly recorded True Romance. How excited I was because I adore this movie. The Christopher Walken/Denis Hopper scene is worth the price of admission alone. When I finally get around to watching it, I see that it was on the Lifetime Movie Network. Lifetime Movie Network? Did they screen this film? Did they only go off the title? This is, without a doubt, the least appropriate film for people expecting Valerie Bertenelli or Meredith Baxter Birney sapfests. The little: this film has been edited for tv notice appears. HA! What can they leave IN this film? It's going to be 15 min. long. You know what it was edited for: language. So, you're going to put True Romance on the Lifetime Movie Network and edit it only for language? I laughed for 2 hours straight because half the film was dubbed.. Even the mob guys speaking in Italian were dubbed. What is the point? Just put it on a real station and let us enjoy it.-----
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October 6, 2005

It's the Great Pumpkin-fest Charlie Brown

Apparently there is a Guiness Book record for everything as the festival is an attempt to break the record of 28,952 lit pumpkins. They were well on their way yesterday afternoon...


I don't know why, but I liked this guy the best. Maybe because he just seems so optimistic despite only having 1 tooth.


There's more photos over at my Flickr site.. (Get up off the floor.. it's true,I updated it).-----
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October 1, 2005

He's so cute! I Could Just Squish Him...


You, too, can be obsessively checking him out on Panda Cam!-----
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September 8, 2005

This Tuesday...

Thelma becomes President. And I can't hardly wait.-----
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September 3, 2005

Because I'm Always Disorganized..

I have to say happy birthday to my friend Ellyn this way:


because I always send things late and she is going out of town. Have a great day!-----
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August 9, 2005

Cuckoo for Tax Free Shopping

This weekend in the lovely state of Massachusetts, we had sales tax free shopping extravaganza and people went crazy! The sales tax here in MA is only 5%, so this isn't that huge a deal unless you're buying big ticket items, and even then it only affected sales up to $2,500. But the attitude seemed to be: tax free, must buy! Doesn't matter what it is. As someone who has bought 2 major applicances and thousands of dollars worth of flooring this year, the sales tax holiday didn't come at the right time for me, but that doesn't mean I can't be swept up in the madness with the best of them.

Is this necessary? You could say no... I taped all these games on VHS at the time (go ahead and mock me. Somewhere in my mothers basement are my VHS tapes of the entire 1986 Celtics playoff run and you can't tell me that's not pure gold) and as Tivo arrived just in time for NESN's rebroadcast of the games, now I have them on DVD as well. Yes, I know I'm insane.

But once I read this description, I knew I had to have the set..

The best moment of the game 7 celebration was Trot Nixon. I'd never seen this before. The cameraman asks him, "You going to the clubhouse?"

"What?" Trot says, leaning in to hear among the roaring chaos.

"GOING TO THE CLUBHOUSE?" the cameraman hollers.

"No. No, man," Trot says, picking up speed as he walks away, "I'm going to be with my fans."

And then he runs, fist in the air, gesturing "number one!" to a patch of ecstatic Sox fans still hanging out in the bleachers near the black seats in Yankee Stadium. That shot...Trot, the glowing grass, running, hand up in a victory gesture...

Ah.. I love Trot.


What else?

Dual function dry/wet floor cleaner can be used to both vacuum dry debris and wet clean non-carpeted hard floor surfaces. Fold-down handle makes this cleaner easy to store, and the dual tank design offers a separate solution tank and recovery tank that are functionally located for easy viewing, removal and replacement. Translucent solution tank is easy to remove, easy to fill, easy to replace.

Bow down before it's domestic godliness.. In my never ending quest to become the person I never thought I'd be (completely boring domestic person).. I have coveted this item since I first discovered it's existed. And when you're forced to replace 80% of the flooring in your home through very tramatic circumstances, you really deserve something like this to take care of them. At least that is what I tell myself.

Note: there is a more expensive model with special grout cleaning attachments. But even I have limits.


Then it was off to Pier 1 (always a danger spot) where a rug was purchased to go under the dining table (AND it was on sale!) and finally to BJ's where every possible home cleaning and beauty product was purchased. Does deordorant go bad because I think I have at least a years supply.


Grand total of tax savings: $23.90. For $23.90, I felt like a person on the lunatic fringe, but only until I saw a family wheeling a 50 inch plasma tv, home theatre system and entire shopping cart of dvd's.-----
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We've All Been There...

at one time or another.

Blog Depression - a public service announcement.

Of course, now I'm even more depressed just thinking about why I can't come up with stuff like this. It's an endless downward spriral.. :(


Link found over at J-Mo's-----
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August 5, 2005

Sarcasm is Like a Second Language to Me

I don't usually do movie reviews, but holy shit was The 40 Year Old Virgin hilarious.

As in I leaned over half way through the movie and whispered: this is Something About Mary funny.
As in I'm laughing so hard, I can't get enough air funny.
As in I think I burst a blood vessel in my chest funny.
As in my stomach hurts from laughing the next day funny.

This is one of the few movies I've ever seen where the trailer is worse than the film.

There is just one slow patch near the end and the waxing scene is too excrutiating to have gone on as long as it did and there is probably too many 80's references that the American Pie crowd probably won't get. If you were born in the 80's and you know who the band Asia is, you're a little scary.

But if you love action hero and 80's references, and have a thing for low brow humor.. run, don't walk to the movies!

All this AND Paul Rudd. Oh la la..-----
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August 2, 2005

Treating My friends to the BJç—´ Experience

{snicker}

If you want to go to BJ's to check out the savings without joining, use this shopping pass through 9/12.-----
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July 12, 2005

The Real World: National Zoo

This is the true story of 2 pandas, picked to live in DC, have their lives taped, to find out what happens when they stop being polite and start having babies.

Panda Cam


Ok, sometimes they just lie there, but you would, too, if you were in DC in July with that much fur.-----
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July 9, 2005

If a Political Geeks Married a Technology Dork...

the result might be:

C-SPAN Podcasts!

I am beside myself with excitement. This Sunday my favorite nut job, Rick "Man on Dog, A Woman's Place is in the Home" will be on After Words.. which will be a podcast. Wo!-----
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June 1, 2005

Thanks, Btezra!

Btezra (though blog is in holding pattern) was so helpful to me the other day in helping me along to some ill gotten gain, that I need to show some appreciation by telling everyone to:

Go to his photo site

then:

Make him one of your favorites at Photoblogs.org

but wait, there's more:

Subscribe to his RSS Flickr feed so you can see his photos everyday. They really are spectacular!


If everyone were as nice as Craig, the world really would be a better place. I'll stop now as I'm beginning to sound like a Lifetime movie.-----
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May 12, 2005

Hold on, Ladies, for the shave of your life..

Holy Moly! I haven't seen a site like this since my free wheelin', fooz ball playin' , over the time website creatin' days in the late 90's:

Quattro for Women. Do the "full throttled" version. After all, who doesn't need to see a 360 degree view of a razor in Flash?

According to them, my leg hairs' days are numbered. Somehow I think they will make their triuphant return in Leg Hairs Strike Back.

You can sign up to get a free Quartro for Women. And you'll also receive a "fun-packed owners manual.. ideal reading for material for when you're impatiently waiting for stubble to grow back so you can use your awesome* new shaving machine again and again".

But perhaps the best part is the "Hungry for Some Beefcake?" section, where you can download wallpapers of hot men posing (and in one case, riding) the razor. I'm speechless and laughing my ass off. Then there is the tubside assistance section, where the very scary former Sprint online help image, Claire, is now working. Ack.

I should be writing a post on how ridiculous marketing to women is, but I don't have time and I'm a little too shocked and awed by this site to do it right now.


* oh my God, like totally?-----
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January 10, 2005

Things to Do in a Blizzard When Your Alive

Ladies and Gentlemen, I present the door to my porch:

Yup, I can't even open the door. See how it's all white in the background? That is exactly what I see - nothing but snow and wind. I've lived in New England my whole life, with a 4 year visit to Syracuse and I've never seen anything like this. Boston Public schools have already cancelled school for Monday and Tuesday. Again.. shades of '78, when I think we had a whole week off. It was an outstanding time to be a little kid. I SO want to go outside to check it out and take pictures, but the wind is just brutal and their is a snow drift outside that appears to be taller than I am. Maybe this afternoon if things die down a bit.

So what does one do in a big time blizzard? Yesterday I watched college hoops.. practically all day. Did any of you SEE that Villanova/Kansas game? Wow. Go Big East. Then I saw Syracuse handle West Virginia and later UConn and Pitt. Another Wow game. And I wish someone would beat the crap out of BC. How can they be undefeated?? But I digress... Today I'm going read the entire Sunday paper (how impressed am I with my delivery guy getting the paper here on time and completely dry? extremely. He is getting a big tip this month), but beyond that I'm not sure. How are you spending your blizzardy day?

** Update **
What was I thinking?? I can take all the quizes I've been missing!! ;)


I am nerdier than 40% of all people. Are you nerdier? Click here to find out!
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Getting Priorities Straight

I don't know what I was thinking going to the grocery store this morning. I just needed some milk! It seemed like every single person who lives within a 20 mile radius (and their screaming children) were in the store. Due to our impending blizzahhd (I'm looking a map which says 20 - 30 inches where I live... shades of '78!), you might think people would be stocking up on staples: milk, bread, etc. NO. People are madly gathered around the deli, frantically grabbing up the prepared deli platters, chips, soda, beer and more beer. Yes, it's supplies for The Game that people are concerned about.-----
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November 10, 2004